If you look around the world, you will see that there are so
many differing opinions about the family.
People across the globe understand and view the family in unique
ways. What exactly is it that forms all
of these opinions regarding the family and how it works? Many of these views are a result of the
theories that we have about our family or those that we observe around us.
A theory is…
a plausible or
scientifically acceptable general principle or body of principles offered to
explain phenomena (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/theory)
Keeping that definition in mind, a theory
about the family is basically the principles that people feel explain the way
that things work in a family. It seems
that we all have different theories that stem from the various experiences that
we have had with the family. I am going to use the “Smith Family” as an example
to describe each of these theories.
Conflict theory: this theory leads a person to believe that the driving force of
society, or in this case, a family, is the inequality, conflict, and power that
is seen in the home. There is often a struggle between people to have that
power. Now, I don’t want to say that conflict is unusual or possible to avoid,
but the important thing to learn here is that it must be overcome.
Example: That’s So Raymond
(see video below – it’s a funny one!)
To Think About: What does the book that this little boy wrote show about the way that he sees that his family functions?
Exchange theory: This theory is based off of one’s desire to get at least as much (usually
more) out of a relationship than what they themselves are giving. This leads to incredibly high, and sometimes
difficult to meet, expectations in a relationship or a family.
A question
to consider: Why is this kind of thinking dangerous in a family?
Symbolic
Interaction Theory: A theory that is
formed around the belief that all of the actions of a person have a very
symbolic meaning/have to mean something.
This belief can be good or bad, depending on the things that it is
attached to. An example of a good thing
with a positive symbolic meaning would be that a kiss normally (and should, in
my opinion) means that two people care for each other.
A story for an example (shared in my class, so I don’t take any credit for it!): A wife stays
home and does her best to take care of the kids and the things that are going
on at home. When her husband gets home
from work, he goes straight into the office for the next 20 minutes. This makes
the wife worry more and more each day that he does it. It affects how she acts towards him for the
rest of the evening. Where did that worry
come from? When she was growing up, her dad only did that when he was
really angry.
What I take from that story: It’s important to understand the experiences that the people in our
family have had that have caused them to attach meanings, good or bad, to
certain things that are done. It will
help us to be sensitive and maybe help them to overcome it.
Systems Theory:
The family is very much seen as a very
emotional unit and depends on the systems and subsystems that are within it. It can even go to the relationships involving
people or things outside of the family. If these systems give the impression that
they are faltering or weakening, all seems to be lost.
Examples of systems: Husband and wife, wife and child, husband and child, child and child.
The wrap-up…
I won’t say
that I know or believe that each of these theories is all good or all bad. As we discussed them in class, I just felt
that there were potential positive consequences of them, as well as negative
ones. So what I invite you to do is really contemplate your own family and
which of these theories is prevalent in your own home and relationships. How are those theories affecting you? Could any changes be made?
Let me know in the comments
below if you had any thoughts – I think that you can leave comments anonymously
if you would like to share personal thoughts!
Until next week 😊
-Britt
