Father Involvement

I feel really grateful for the relationship that I had with my dad growing up.  Like any familial relationship, it had its ups and downs, but I would consider our relationship to be a good one.  My dad has always been there for me and has taught me a lot about life and lessons that have given me strength in difficult moments.

My dad has experienced a few very difficult things in his life.  I don’t even know much about them, but I can’t imagine how hard some experiences may have been for him.  Because of the things that he has gone through, he has been able to give me incredible advice when I am struggling through something in my own personal life.

One thing that may have been difficult growing up is that my dad worked a lot.  Actually, I don’t remember being even a little bit bothered by it.  I remember always feeling that he was incredibly dedicated to taking care of our family and I felt his love because of his hard work. 

I have thought a bit about how I would love for my kids to be able to have a close relationship with their father like I did.  I want to do everything that I can to make sure that my husband feels totally involved in the raising of our children.  I really love the idea of children having one-on-one time with their fathers and would like to encourage that in my future family.

I read a book by Dr. Gottman in one of my classes that had a whole chapter about fathers and how important they are in the lives of their children.  Today, I wanted to write about a few parts of that chapter and the discussion that we had about it that really impacted and stood out to me:

• ·       Not just any dad will do.  We talk so much about how important it is that a father is present, and while that is definitely true, there is much more to it.  It is important that a father is also emotionally present.  That is the only way that he can really  make the positive impact that children need from a father.

• ·       What do kids miss out on without a father?

o   Fathers are able to teach children about social relationships in a way that is unique to any other teaching that another person could do.

o   Children learn a different type of play from their dads – rough and tumble.  I have great memories of this kind of play with my dad.  I think it builds confidence and even encourages a child to be themselves and be silly and have fun.

o   Emotional skills are learned from that type of play as well as the simple fact of having a strong relationship with a father.

• ·       Dads shouldn’t be sent to the sideline when a baby is born.  Sometimes, a mother (and mother-in-law) might have the tendency to try to push the dad out a bit when the baby is born, but this is NOT a good idea.  Fathers have their own style of caring for a baby that can teach that baby and help it to develop in ways that it wouldn’t be able to after only spending time with the mother. 
• ·       Fathers need alone time with their kids so that they can learn techniques and strategies that are important for their children (without the influence or direction of their wife!).  This is an important part of building that relationship between father and child.

I really believe that fathers are very important in a family and in God’s plan.  This is a video that is really special to me that shows just how important they are.

-Britt